Sigh...this part of my life is titled "disappointed again".
It just always had to happen all the time, I still wonder why things just keep repeating over and over again, when will the cycle ever break......sigh
And I never learn to avoid it, I keep falling into the same trap and situation, is it my fault now? Perhaps there is some part of me that disgusts them, sigh...
I need sleep, too much of this and I'll go crazy again...dont wanna go that road again...
it hurts...
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Friday, April 17, 2009
Life
Everything that happens is purely chance, there is no destined nor there is fate. Everything is just chance. There is no special meaning in anything unless we attach meaning to it ourselves. One may think that is is fate when they meet someone they like and yet finds that it is coincidence that lets him meet the next person. It is because we like and we attach a meaning to it, and yet we do not attach anything special when we are neutral about it.
Bias, we all have one about everything in life. Everything that favors us and everything that makes us feel that life is unfair. Also a source on why we do the things we do.
Everything and anything is part of a choice system we employ. And that is the ultimate freedom given to us by Him. A chance to make a choice in life, in fact we have millions or even billions of chances to make a choice in our own lives. But what governs us in making the choices we made...perhaps it is the pursue of our daily material needs or the need to feel accepted in the surroundings we are in or the complex unexplainable chemical reaction that brings about an unexplainable feeling called love.
Life is simple yet complex, hard but fragile, love and hate......and for once it is nice to know that we are alive, for if we are not, we will not have all these feelings, we would be just cold and thoughtless and unmoving and that is no fun.
I can imagine that when God thought of me and created me, the words he said before I depart to this world was "Enjoy!".
I'm not sure why I was actually happy to know that you are doing well, I wasnt jealous, I wasnt sad, I wasnt bitter, I was just happy sincerely. Maybe I really love you so much that I could let you go knowing that you will be happier with someone else. But I can feel inside, some little corner of my heart was crying, and it was strange to knowingly feel that the little corner still exist. Ah life, that is what it is.
And I'm not sure why I dont have someone beside me when my family is making noises about it. There are times in life that I really wished someone was beside me physically when I needed someone, but most or all the time, I have to be content to ride that depressing moment myself. It's sad and that is part of life.
What have I been writing again......this moment of my life is titled "Happy But Sad".
Bias, we all have one about everything in life. Everything that favors us and everything that makes us feel that life is unfair. Also a source on why we do the things we do.
Everything and anything is part of a choice system we employ. And that is the ultimate freedom given to us by Him. A chance to make a choice in life, in fact we have millions or even billions of chances to make a choice in our own lives. But what governs us in making the choices we made...perhaps it is the pursue of our daily material needs or the need to feel accepted in the surroundings we are in or the complex unexplainable chemical reaction that brings about an unexplainable feeling called love.
Life is simple yet complex, hard but fragile, love and hate......and for once it is nice to know that we are alive, for if we are not, we will not have all these feelings, we would be just cold and thoughtless and unmoving and that is no fun.
I can imagine that when God thought of me and created me, the words he said before I depart to this world was "Enjoy!".
I'm not sure why I was actually happy to know that you are doing well, I wasnt jealous, I wasnt sad, I wasnt bitter, I was just happy sincerely. Maybe I really love you so much that I could let you go knowing that you will be happier with someone else. But I can feel inside, some little corner of my heart was crying, and it was strange to knowingly feel that the little corner still exist. Ah life, that is what it is.
And I'm not sure why I dont have someone beside me when my family is making noises about it. There are times in life that I really wished someone was beside me physically when I needed someone, but most or all the time, I have to be content to ride that depressing moment myself. It's sad and that is part of life.
What have I been writing again......this moment of my life is titled "Happy But Sad".
Monday, April 06, 2009
Sunday
Today was a fun filled day, before church there was delicious lunch and after church delicious dinner filled with lots of laughter and fun. Thank you God for giving me this wonderful day, I really laughed a lot today, it's a great day.
"So I commend the enjoyment of life, because nothing is better than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany him in his work all the days of the life God has given him under the sun."
Ecclesiastes 8:15
"So I commend the enjoyment of life, because nothing is better than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany him in his work all the days of the life God has given him under the sun."
Ecclesiastes 8:15
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