Sweet and Sour

You know that feeling...happy yet afraid of the sadness that might come. It's sweet and sour. It's like the feelings of love for the past few days is slowly ebbing away, and fear is coming in, fear of losing that feeling.

Maybe I'm just starting to wake up from my beauty dream, it is a nice one though, the feeling is still there. I wonder if it's still possible or not. I know I would be real sad if it didnt work out. But I guess this is love, you go insanely crazy over a person, so full of hope and full of happiness over the potentiality of being together. But when it doesnt happen, you get so very sad over it because you know you had very strong feelings but you had to let it go in the end.

This one is special I know it, the feelings is so overwhelming...it's like I know this is it, the one I have been waiting for all your life...but yet...how can I have second thoughts if I was so sure, but surely this is probably the first this feeling came to me. This is insane, it's like I want it so badly, but so afraid of not being able to get it...humans...

I just really hope that this will not turn out to be a distant and forever goodbye.

A Glitter of Hope

I am not sure if it's possible or not, but I know this feeling, this yearning, perhaps I've found the person, but it is still too early to tell, need to get to know more of her. She fits almost all of my criteria, although normally at this point I'm probably afraid cos perhaps I don't believe it but I guess I have to try. It's like the chance I've been waiting for, now the potential one appears in front of me, I'll be really dumb to not do anything. If she proves to not be the one, I'll just have to accept it and find again, but if she is the one, then perhaps my long wait was not in vain.

Not sure what will happen from now, things may even turn out to be nothing but perhaps something special might happen, no use trying to predict the unknown, we just have to try our best, the rest will just flow along. Deep inside I believe, good things will happen from here on, I just have to wait for the chances to appear and take them, dont wait on them or else it will be gone.

Honesty

Sometimes I really wished someone would come and try to understand me a little, someone would be bold enough to get to know me, but I guess I wouldnt want just anyone to do that, perhaps some specific people that I'm interested in I guess. Humans are just like this, it's sad but it's reality.

Ambiguity makes people suffer, you dont know when to pursue or when to give up.

I think the best in life is being honest, even though at times it may not be the best choice, but I believe honesty goes a long way. Honest with your feelings, honest with your words to others, honest about life. Because lying is tiring, you have to cover this and that, it's just too much to do for something that may not even be there at the end. But how do we differentiate honesty and foolishness? It's just the same like the edges of a sword.

I've always believed that being direct and honest is the best way, when I like a girl I will tell them I like them, and normally they would just reject me and ignore me. Perhaps I'm still waiting and hoping that one day when I tell a girl the same thing she would give me a different reaction. Perhaps faith is necessary in such matters. I would say do it when the feeling is there, there is already no point if the feeling has gone. Dont wait till the waiting has lost its meaning.

What am I writing... guess I'm just feeling lonely.