Calpis

Yesterday I had a dream, it was a very sweet one, though I can't remember her face now, but I still remember how I was holding her hand and we were walking. I hope one day that dream would come true, it was a really nice one.

Water Bottle

The next time I think of her I must

remember how frustrated I felt trying to just get her to pick up the phone
remember how anxious I felt just waiting for one simple sms from her
remember how hurt I felt knowing she was just only playing me around
remember how she said she felt normal when I told her I like her
remember all the stupid things I wanted to do for her

And when I remember them, I will remember to tell myself to
remember to forget her.

Tea Tree Oil

I'm not sure if this is the beginning of something new or the end of something bad...it's like in between like always, the beginning and the end is never clear. But one good thing, I feel so much more glad it's out of me. You know like finally letting go of something that is bothering you, finally I understood why she is the way she is, the way she treats me and etc, because she is just like that...yet again my own fault for liking her, nothing much to pursue there. Maybe I'm just not smart enough to differentiate between someone liking me and someone that just wanna be friends with me. I guess the next time she ever does something nice for me I would just not read too much into it, it's probably just nothing.

Thank you God for making me understand, I can see myself growing older mentally and emotionally, if this happened a few years back I would probably act in a childish way, but well, people do grow up I guess.

The person in my dreams has turned into a shadow again, I lost her face again, wonder when will it come back. It kinda makes me more happy when I can see her face, but now it has turned all black like a shadow, waiting for someone to fill the empty void. Oh well time to look again, like I've always said, if it was meant to be then it will work out.

Just watched "Secret" for dunno the how manyeth times with some friends. Everytime I'm sad and I watch that movie it just makes me happier, not sure where but that movie always give me a good feeling, a feeling that there is something out there worth waiting for. Kinda something that gives me strength to carry on.

Sometimes after some events like this, the emotional state needs some rest, it's like your heart has been happy for some time and just suddenly everything comes crashing down, it would be time to take a rest and rebuild again later.

You know for this one this time, the feeling was kinda different from any of the previous ones even though what happened was pretty much the same. The feeling was like...more carefree...more liking...more natural I would say. I liked it and I like her, but well, all good things comes to an end I guess. I'm not sad that it ended, but kinda happy cos it happened...haha...bs I would say if this happened years ago...once again, someone has grown up.

Time to sleep, should be a good one as my heart isnt in a confused state.

Vexed

Aaaaar I cant sleep, something is bothering me so much and my heart is crying, I dont understand, dont tell me all the things that happened so far are just lies. I'm not happy, my heart is not happy. If all the things that happened were nothing more than lies, then I give up, I've had enough. Nothing is different, the ending is always the same., will this one be the same? I feel like vomiting. Sigh only three hours of sleep. AAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Yiruma

What is she trying to do? Play me around? Some part of me feels she's the one, some part of me feels I'm being played around. It's like that familiar feeling of being rejected coming before anything happened. It is bad...oh my life, I'm being positive by doing all I can in possible relationships but alas, it is a two way train, one way traffic is just bad, and I had enough of it, no more, no more...no more... This will be the last try, after that, no more. enough is enough.

Today went futsal, sooo tiring cos it was kinda non stop. I need sleep...zzz

Butter Fish

Woo finally got time to make some posts, but I dont know what to post...haha. Well things are developing, which is good, I wanna give her a surprise. Wonder what I should buy...hmm

The you in this blog will have to change soon, not you anymore, but her. But that will be done when it is confirmed.

Ok short for now, I need some rest. Will post more as things develop.

Ribena

Hmm been long since I last posted, been busy and will be busier for the next two weeks. Results so far were good, not that I was expecting anything bad. Went for Drum and Piano class today, did pretty well for drums, but I'm playing mostly on feel and not by reading the music sheet. Next year when I come back after holidays I will start on drum lessons for grading, woo I wanna become a professional drummer.

Hmm yea I think I've found her, things are developing, though not fast as we're both kinda in the busy period these days. Oh well I believe good things are waiting for us.

"An honest answer is like a kiss to the lips"
Proverbs 24:26

Again nothing much to write as I didn't take the time to think too much. Oh yea one funny thing from the Love Guru movie. Bible spells this...

B.asic
I.nstructions
B.efore
L.eaving
E.arth

haha funny movie, just don't take the jokes too seriously.