Thoughts

I'm starting to think again, the small problems for me are big problems for her, sometimes i cannot take it when little problems escalate into big ones for no reason. Things are not starting to connect, like falling apart. Quarrels becoming more frequent, is the maturity difference really that much? Many changes will be coming soon, will that change us? Tougher times demands tougher decisions...

Do reckless things

Yes those who are young should do more reckless things, that way when you're in middle age you'll really miss the days when you were able to do stupid things. Of course you should not do dumb things like taking drugs or car racing, or anything that might endanger your life.

It is important for us to enjoy our life as much as we can. Go out with friends for a field trip, get lost in the process, the fun part about trips is getting lost isn't it? Take up a part time job that you have never done before like being a waiter or telemarketer. Get out of your comfort zone and do something that makes your life more enriching rather than the boring same routine day in and day out, we're not old yet, we should do what we can when we still have the chance.

Youth

Youth is about suffering, true to that. We all suffer from the mistakes we make in our youth.


Just keep moving forward, there are times when we need to just let go of sadness and despair and keep moving. Clinging onto something that has expired is just unhealthy, imagine holding onto a piece of rotting thing, makes you feel that the rotting part might spread to your hand.

Happy

Today was a very happy day, I hope that it can be everyday, but we shouldnt be too greedy. Too much of a good thing can make us sick also.

But I must say that this feeling is so different, it's like comfortable happiness. Things are so...naturally good. I really dont know what else to write, I dun want to spoil this feeling by describing in words that are not good enough to be used to describe.

Let's leave it as, I'm really thankful that I've found her and I will cherish her a lot.

100th Post

Oh yea it's my 100th post, but too bad it has to be an emo post...not like i want to purposely make it emo...but that's how i feel now...and it seems that i'm always emo...

But again I dont know what to write also...things are like...so happening and yet not so happening. I think this is the phase where you would put "it's complicated" in the relationship status is facebook. Like that Katy Pery song, you're yes and you're no, you're up and you're down, you're in and you're out....whatever.

But however, things seems to be in positive mood these days. How I wish things can happen faster, how I wish she would forget him faster, patience patience...I've waited this long, a few more weeks or months probably means nothing.

I wonder why cycles happen, when u're really happy, somehow something will happen to dampen that happiness, sometimes up to a point where the feeling turns to sadness. It's like a cyclic graph, up and down and up and down. Hope it doesnt tire me out first. I just need to calm down and a dose of patience.

Huhuhu

Today I suddenly had a revelation...it was painful to suddenly realise the same problem is arising. One of my friends mentioned it and I suddenly kept quiet, into deep thought. I suddenly realised that...even though I can like her a lot, I may sacrifice lots for her...but in the end...I dont think she will want to leave this place...

Suddenly the mood's all changed...the optimism is starting to ebb away...a dull feeling overcoming me. I'm starting to be confused...I need...someone that understands me. Why is this happening again...

Time

The other day I saw her made a wish, I can still remember how she looked like with her eyes closed and hands together. She must really want that wish to happen. And then I was deciding what wish I want to make, but...in the end I did not make any wishes. On one side maybe I was scared of the dissappointment I would get if it didnt come true, on another more painful side, somehow...I dont want my wish to clash with hers. If she wished for someone else, I'd rather let it come true than for me to wish for her. Sometimes the nice guy in me really pisses myself off.

Well today was a good outing, even though it didnt end as what I wanted...well things never go as planned anyways. A big rainy day to top things up, how nice. I'm sure she'll be emo considering the "importance" of this day. But well nothing I can do, for now I can only walk beside her, I dont know for how long, could be a while, could be a long long time.

I guess when it comes to love, someone has to get hurt.