Flowers

Today I remembered something a friend said about me about almost a year ago, strange that I remembered it today. He knows what I went through that the things that happened to me and yet he said that I'm a pretty positive person. Now that is an irony, last time for much of the time I was sad and depressed, so how can I be described as being positive. But the truth is that even after all of those things, I am still here and still getting myself broken over and over again, but I'm still here. There was a day not too long ago, less than a year, the whole day I was in bed, thinking of only one thing, to end it or not. I guess God must have prepared something great for me that I am no longer thinking of that and going for what I believe in. Looking back I felt so foolish.

So now I guess I'll have to start yet again from scratch, you are no longer in the face I see, I have lost your face in the person I want to find. I know the feeling is still there, but I also know that as time goes by, as new things come, one day the memories of you will be replaced with the new ones. Funny how I can get hooked on things that never happened.

I know you are out there somewhere, the flower of my life. We may not have met yet or maybe we already had, but one day our paths will cross. I know someday I will find you, and that day you will find me too. I should be more bold, I guess it doesnt matter how many times I get myself broken because I know that when one day I finally found you, it was all very very worth it.

Why am I.......what are these tears......