Jealous

Yes I am jealous...I know I shouldnt but I am. I cant help this feeling, it's just...jealousy at its worst. Jealousy coupled with diet equals very bad starvation and very bad cravings for things as jealousy and diet both breeds stress and I for one is the type that tends to gobble food when I am stressed, but today I am holding it in. I will hold it in, have to learn to handle these things.

I have a method that helps me get over these sad moments, that is to force myself to cry it out, it's actually a lot better than holding the feelings for days inside until a lot of unnecessary things happens out of uncontrollable feelings. However it aint easy to force myself to cry though, but well that's why sad movies are good, sad songs are usable too, whatever that gets me in the mood to let my feelings out. Same concept as after someone has ate too much, they need to vomit some out, when we have too much bad feelings inside, we need to vomit them out too, it does seems that tears can contain them.

Life's like that, happy sad angry happy happy happy sad sad happy angry...a random cycle of feelings. Still looking forward to spontaneous happiness, a random word that just came out of nowhere and I don't even understand the exact meaning.