Tea Tree Oil

I'm not sure if this is the beginning of something new or the end of something bad...it's like in between like always, the beginning and the end is never clear. But one good thing, I feel so much more glad it's out of me. You know like finally letting go of something that is bothering you, finally I understood why she is the way she is, the way she treats me and etc, because she is just like that...yet again my own fault for liking her, nothing much to pursue there. Maybe I'm just not smart enough to differentiate between someone liking me and someone that just wanna be friends with me. I guess the next time she ever does something nice for me I would just not read too much into it, it's probably just nothing.

Thank you God for making me understand, I can see myself growing older mentally and emotionally, if this happened a few years back I would probably act in a childish way, but well, people do grow up I guess.

The person in my dreams has turned into a shadow again, I lost her face again, wonder when will it come back. It kinda makes me more happy when I can see her face, but now it has turned all black like a shadow, waiting for someone to fill the empty void. Oh well time to look again, like I've always said, if it was meant to be then it will work out.

Just watched "Secret" for dunno the how manyeth times with some friends. Everytime I'm sad and I watch that movie it just makes me happier, not sure where but that movie always give me a good feeling, a feeling that there is something out there worth waiting for. Kinda something that gives me strength to carry on.

Sometimes after some events like this, the emotional state needs some rest, it's like your heart has been happy for some time and just suddenly everything comes crashing down, it would be time to take a rest and rebuild again later.

You know for this one this time, the feeling was kinda different from any of the previous ones even though what happened was pretty much the same. The feeling was like...more carefree...more liking...more natural I would say. I liked it and I like her, but well, all good things comes to an end I guess. I'm not sad that it ended, but kinda happy cos it happened...haha...bs I would say if this happened years ago...once again, someone has grown up.

Time to sleep, should be a good one as my heart isnt in a confused state.