I am your angel

"No mountains too high, for you to climb
all you have to do is have some climbing faith, oh yeah
No rivers too wide, for you to make it across
All you have to do is believe it when you pray"

Another day and another strange dream, I was awake at 4am+ for no reason. Maybe I was just waiting for a message of goodwill, and I got it right after I went to the toilet in the morning. I'm just glad to know that you're all right.

"And then you will see, the morning will come
And everyday will be bright as the sun
All of your fears, cast them on me
I just want you to see ... "

When the sad feeling comes, I start to tell myself to not dwell in it for too long, it is fruitless and just a waste of feelings and time. What is done is done, I am only human, I cannot turn back time, I can only look forward and believe that things will be better.

"I'll be your cloud up in the sky
I'll be your shoulder when you cry
I'll hear your voices when you call me
I am your angel"

Again the crybaby in me came out, why have I became so emotional these days, is something bad gonna happen? What am I looking for? What do I want? What am I here for? Why didn't I listen? Why why why ... Just shut up already and listen better next time.

"And when all hope is gone, I'm here
No matter how far you are, I'm here
It makes no difference who you are
I am your angel, I'm your angel"

Maybe I'm waiting for that special someone to find me before I can really move on, or perhaps it is marriage, but that sounds really weird. Things around me are changing but I feel my feelings are still stuck in a rut. Am I imprisoning myself? More self condemnation? But I believe that it won't be like this for long, even when current circumstances does not support but I have to believe it not because I am comforting myself, but because I believe it.

"I saw the teardrops, and I heard you cry
All you need is time, seek me and you shall find
You have everything but you're still lonely
It don't have to be this way, let me show you a better day"

All I need is time, but have I taken too long? Reminds me of my grandma, she was very happy when we were all there playing dominoes with her, and she said that when the night comes she gets lonely cos she only lives with my grandpa and he refuses to move house to somewhere nearer to my aunt. Even though my grandma was a fierce parent to my parents, she is still a good person. And my grandpa although talks mostly about business and stuffs even when he has experienced stroke, he is still the same lovely grandpa for me. And I wish for them both to have long lives.

"And then you will see, the morning will come
And all of your days will be bright as the sun
So all of your fears, just cast them on me
How can I make you see ..."

For when the day comes for us to meet again, I will not lose that chance again, I will be prepared, I will be the one you seek, the one that heals your sorrow, the one that supports you in times of need, the one that you'll talk to when you're down and the one that will understands you when noone else do.



"And when it's time to face the storm
I'll be right by your side
Grace will keep us safe and warm
And I know we will survive"

Funny how I'm typing all these with my eyes closed while listening to some music. Guess I've been typing for a long long time that my fingers can already remember where the letters are. Of course sometimes I still make mistakes here and there. Maybe it seems that I should learn the piano.

"And when it seems as if your end is drawing near
Don't you dare give up the fight
Just put your trust beyond the sky ..."

It's been weeks and still no Corgi nor Jack Russels. Two of four scottish terriers are left in the pet shop. They're so cute, they broke the barrier to their neighbour the poms and played with them until the workers separated them, so sad. Is this a sign that I have to do what I need to do? I was telling myself that if any corgi or jack russels appears I will buy it and perhaps decided where I would be. It seems that perhaps that it is the sign that I have to make a decision soon.

"I'll be your cloud up in the sky
I'll be your shoulder when you cry
I'll hear your voices when you call me
I am your angel"
- Celine Dion & R.Kelly : I'm your angel