Just a dream

It seems that God didn't want to break my heart, instead he wanted me to realize myself that it was nothing but a dream. It's just a dream, it doesn't mean a thing. I knew from that day I saw you that I will never recover if ever I get my heart broken this time, and perhaps God heard me and helped me. I am to learn and understand my own self that it was just a passing moment. Just a hopeful moment for me. It was lovely and beautiful yet unfriendly and unalike. Yet I was hoping for too much. The end is still far and I was impatient. If indeed she is the one then she will be the one. No need to be impatient, jealous, hasty or angry about it. The salty patches will flow, it still hurts to realize that they were nothing but delusional hope. Maybe I was waiting for this day, for a time where these feelings will past, where they will finally let go of me and I can start anew. It just wasn't natural, such things are perhaps never meant to be. I won't know what I will think of when I wake up tomorrow but I know it will be good.

I think I was right in making this blog as a place for me to dump my feelings, else if I keep them all inside, one day I might just go crazy.

"Father touch my heart
Change my life to a brand new one
Like a pure gold
You mold my vessel of heart
Father teach me to understand
a love that always gives
Like a flowing water that will never stop"
- Father, Touch My Heart

Everytime I sing this song in church in Indo, the tears can't stop, it just keeps flowing and flowing. You can call me crazy and insane, but my feelings are real. Feels like years of accumulated pain are being released slowly. I'm sure I am not the only one tearing when singing this song cos I can hear many people sobbing and sniffing, just don't get to see them as I always sit right in front.



It was just a long moment, but it was nothing.