Signs

Everytime I ask that question I keep getting reminded of that dream of a few days ago. I realised that even though I want it to happen, but also I am scared of it happening. Surreal I would say, feels like ... well it was a dream. Why can't I just accept when my questions are answered? I asked a question and I got the answer, why can't I just accept that? Why must I keep on asking hoping to get another answer? I am happy with that answer, but I'm getting doubts, I doubt the answer, I doubt myself in being able to attain what I dreamt. Fear and worry are there, makes me not be able to accept the answer I'm given. Things are just as simple as accepting, yet we humans always make it complicated.



Feels like I'm punishing myself for something wrong I did in the past. There are things that we just would not understand. One cannot see things past the choices they don't understand. And I don't understand why I'm doing this or why am I feeling like this.

"You've got the gift, but it looks like you're waiting for something"
- The Oracle

Rejection, it is hard when you have to live not being accepted, yet we like to look for rejections. Is it noble to live life always wallowing in the sadness of rejection, where is the point in that? Rejection or not it would not change much, except perhaps our hopes become disappointments. And then we move on with it.



I can't believe I just wrote those things, feels like someone else was talking to me. And the song playing now is Rachmaninoff's 2nd Piano Concerto, it says ...... I am special.